First-Generation Immigrant Children: Navigating Bicultural Identities.
For children of first-generation immigrants, the journey of self-discovery is uniquely complex. They often find themselves balancing the rich cultural traditions of their families with the expectations and norms of the society they live in. This duality can lead to unique challenges that highlight the nature of bicultural identity.
This narrative mirrors my own experience, growing up with a mother from Laos and a father from America. One event, in particular, stands out. At a family gathering, I felt a knot in my stomach as I scanned the backyard, seeing faces like mine but darker. People spoke in Lao, and I didn’t understand. They stared at my brother and me.
Most of my relatives are Laotian immigrants. My brother and I, being half-Lao, felt only half-welcome. The gathering was a ceremony to honor my aunt’s death. Relatives wore traditional attire; my cousins were in semi-formal dresses and suits, while my brother and I wore jeans.
Our mom rushed us to a table with silver and gold bowls. My uncle asked about our offerings—no one had told us to bring anything. Relatives surrounded us with bowls of fruits, vegetables, and flowers. My aunt tied her pha biang, a traditional Laotian top, around me. An uncle called my brother “white boy.”
We were hurried to another table with empty platters and monks in orange robes. Lost, we tried to follow everyone’s moves: taking off shoes, bowing to the monks, and placing food on the plates without disrespecting anyone.
This memory is just one example of growing up in an in-between world, belonging and not belonging to any group I tried to be part of. I now know I’m not alone in this struggle.
A 2020 study in Identity: An International Journal of Theory and Research highlighted bicultural young adults and their identity struggles. It found that most people face conflicts regarding their identity, often turning to a strategy called frame-switching. This means they change their behavior and language depending on who they are with. For example, a bicultural person might act differently with different sides of their family.
Caleb Xayarath, Laotian and a child of immigrant parents, faces similar issues. He hides his newfound religion from his family, fearing rejection. Raised Buddhist by his grandparents, who prayed multiple times a day and frequented the temple, Xayarath recently converted to Christianity. He worries that if his grandparents find out, they will judge and ostracize him.
Xayarath is one of the few people he knows who speaks fluent Lao. He works hard to learn new words and phrases daily to stay connected to his heritage and the older generation.
Xayarath also struggles with how to raise his future family with both Lao and American cultures intertwined. He fears the Lao language will disappear with his generation. Since Lao culture is heavily tied to Buddhism, his Christian faith means his future family won’t fully experience Lao traditions, like temple visits or certain ceremonies.
Studies published in the National Public Library of Medicine suggest that children of immigrants risk poor adjustment as they negotiate between host and ethnic cultures. The study states, “Part of this negotiation is the result of acculturation, a process by which psychological and cultural change occurs from contact between two different cultural groups and their members.”
Another young adult of Lao immigrants, Hunter Lithalangsy, also struggles with his identity. His parents pushed him towards a healthcare career. Lithalangsy got a degree in biology and student loan debt but hasn’t used his degree in his work field more than five years after graduation. He chose not to pursue medical school, disappointing his parents. Instead, he is building a career in design, getting certifications to enhance his resume. Although happier, less stressed, and financially stable, his parents are still not satisfied.
Lithalangsy’s experience reflects one of the three divergent paths of assimilation discussed in a study by the American Academy of Political and Social Science. The study outlines three paths for children of Southeast Asian immigrants. The first path involves assimilation by achieving upward mobility towards the mainstream American middle class.
The second path involves achieving economic success while adhering to ethnic cultural values. For example, Xayarath’s life reflects this as his grandparents expect him to succeed while holding onto Lao and Buddhist values, forcing him to hide his true self.
The third path is downward assimilation to cultures reflective of disadvantaged native-born individuals. This is the path I relate to. I needed help with a basic ceremony, showing my weak connection to my Lao heritage. My elders pitied us for our American ways. We wish to connect to our Lao heritage, but we are too assimilated into American culture.
Reflecting on my experiences and those of others like Xayarath and Lithalangsy, it is clear that navigating bicultural identity and assimilation is a balancing act. Our journeys highlight the sense of displacement in navigating cultural heritage and social belonging.
As we continue these difficult discussions, stories like ours remind us of the complexities of belonging within our ever-changing cultural landscape.
